The tale of two dogs: Milo & Otis' summer vacation so far...

'Sup peeps? As Moms mentioned, here are some pics of mine and Otis' summer so far. As you can gather, it involves a whole lot of NOTHING. Mostly laying around and playing outside, which is just the way we like it. So sit back and relax, and enjoy the awesomeness that is me (oh, and Otis):

Hang tough folks,

Milo

Happy Father's Day Pops!!

Otis and I just wanted to give you props for all the things you do for us, like walks, treats, and getting up with us at 4am to let us outside. Not that you don't have any choice, but we do appreciate it. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go lay outside and work on my tan.

From your #1, Milo

Hi Daddy, I just wanted to add to what Milo said and say thank you for not sending me back to the shelter like you wanted to while I was getting used to having people who love me. I'm sorry for all the things I chewed up or destroyed...if I could replace them I would! But thank you for everything too.

Love, (the baby) Otis

It's hard out here for a pimp(s)...

So while Mom and Pops busted their asses getting stuff done this weekend (that's in another post), here's what Otis and I did while they were busy. Hint: it didn't involve helping them.

Here's Otis laying out in the backyard chomping on his treat:



Hey, it's hard being a big brother:



One of the most important this I taught Otis:



Otis says thanks for my new chair Uncle Brian!!!



Later fools.
Milo

It's the end of (Milo's) world as I know it...

*Deep, heavy sigh* I never thought Mom and Dad would do this to me, but apparently I wasn't enough for them so they went out and got me a brother (shakes head). His name is Otis and here's a pic of him:



He looks a lot like me, right? Well, except for the colors. They got him from the Cleveland APL yesterday, so he and I spent time trying to get used to each other. Even though he's a little smaller than me (39 lbs to my 45), he's pretty feisty and doesn't like to take my bullying. He's already slapped me in the face!! He also doesn't like to share and has snapped at me a couple of times when I took a toy he wanted (but Moms put him in his place. Hee hee.). But for the most part we're getting along OK...he seems to want to do everything I do, just like a little brother!! Follow me around the house, go outside when I do, sleep on my couch. Yes, SLEEP ON MY COUCH!!! But I figure I'll be nice and let him get used to everything since he came from a shelter and all and probably doesn't even know what a couch is, much less all the destructive things you can do to one. Good times...

Anyhoo, it seems to be going OK so far. I feel sorta bad for him since he came from a shelter in Indiana and he's only a little over a year old, so I'll cut him some slack. Mom and Dad keep saying that this'll be good for when there's a baby and then I won't feel neglected. Wha???? At least there's no baby on the way yet or I'd really be out of sorts. Here's some pics of my brother and me below, and for the record: I don't know if he'll be posting anything here. Mom said it depends, and that since I do such a good job she may just leave it up to me. We'll see...

Here I got him in trouble by getting him to jump on Mom and Dad's bed. Hee hee!



Hey buddy, don't start getting too comfortable on my couch...



Aw hell no! That's MY couch by the window!



You son of a %^$#!!!



Fine. I'll share.



I will slice you in your sleep.

Back I am, bitches

Ha ha, you guys like the Star Wars reference?? Pops told Mom to take a picture of me all tangled up in the blanket because he thought I looked like Yoda. Correction: Yoda looks like ME.

Anyhow, how've y'all been? I know that you guys have missed me, especially around the holidays and stuff, so I told Moms that I want to post more of my updates like she does for her stuff. So here I am. Haven't been up to too much lately, just enjoying all the treats that Santa Paws got me for Christmas and my birthday (although I know that Santa Paws is really Dad. You'll see how I found out below.). So instead wasting your time with silly words and expositions on life (although that would be a good post: life from Milo's perspective), here's some pics that Mom took of me.

This is what THOSE PEOPLE (Mom and Dad) made me sleep on while the new carpet was being installed a few months ago. Not only were my couches missing, but I HATED walking on the cold wooden floors. I have very sensitive paws, you know.

After the carpet was installed I went to check it out. If you think that I look like the master of my domain, you're right. I told Mom and Dad to NEVER pull at stunt like that again:

I SAID, KISS MY ASS!!!!!!!

Sometimes I like to lay like this to stretch. Other times I like to call it "Rockin' out with your ....." well, you know the rest:

And finally, how I knew Daddy was really Santa Paws. You can tell by the hat and the belly (I kid Dad, I kid!). It kinda ruined whatever innocence I had left. But you can still see that I'm smiling so hard that my eyes are closed!

So I guess that's it for now. I don't think that there's much coming up this year, but Mom and Dad keep talking about making me a babysitter or something? I don't get it. I sit like a baby all day. Oh well, I can never understand half the stuff they say anyway (and nor do I care).

Till later, fools.

I'm back bitches!









What is UP, my peeps? I haven't been around in a while so I thought I'd put up some pics of my summer so far. Since my mom apparently doesn't have time for me anymore, I have to post this myself. It's nicer when she does it though, since NOT EVERYONE IS BORN WITH OPPOSABLE THUMBS, MOM.

Ahem, sorry about that. I'm still a bit cranky since I had to go to the emergency animal clinic last night. I waited till about 8:30pm to start coughing and vomiting what looked like blood, not a lot, just enough to freak Mom out and make her think I was choking on something. And since her and Pops had just come back that morning from a day trip to Chicago I had to do something to keep them awake with me (they had been up since 4am that day to make their 6am flight back home). Anyhoo, the vet found nothing wrong with me, gave me a painkiller shot, and sent me home with antibiotics just in case. And she sent Mom home with a bill for $132. (Heh heh, that'll teach you guys to go out of town without me again.)

But I digress. Here are some pics of what I've been up to lately, for all my fans out there.

Take it easy, and just remember: Who loves ya baby?

Mom calls this one my "mature doggy" look, since it looks like I got a little goatee action going on :

Damn bitch, what did I say about using that flash?!?

Just beyond this fence: sweet, glorious, freedom

Hey kids, get off my lawn!

Eh, forget it, I'm tired.

If I've told you once I've told you a million times: the man is mine.

My cousin Molly came by to play and go for a walk. She lives with Bill and Debbie so this is the first time I got to meet her.

Here we are discussing ways for our evil cousin Robby to "accidentally" get loose and therefore get "accidentally" lost:

Damn, we are some effin' good lookin' dogs:

I'm such a bad wife...

I forgot to post a birthday message to Craig this past Friday! (and yes, his birthday was Friday the 13th). Actually, him and his brother Mark were both born on Friday the 13th (different months), and I THINK that his sister Debbie was born on Saturday the 14th (or so I'm told. That may be false). So happy birthday honey!! I hope that you had a great day and - Ow! Hey, get away from me!!! Quit biting!! Aaarrggghhhh!!!!!!!! Help m-

This is Milo speaking. I had to get Moms away from the computer so I could put my note to Pops up here. Don't worry, she'll be OK once she quits bleeding and wakes up. So I gotta make this fast. I just wanted to say thank you for everything that you do for me Dad, from getting up with me at 6am (after a night out on the town), to making sure I get walked everyday, to giving me all sorts of scrumptious treats (including the ones I'm not supposed to have). So I love you for everything Dad, and hope that you like my present...a picture of me and you in the cutest doggie frame. You are my favorite person in the whole world, and - Oh sh*t, Moms up! Gotta run!

(Unsteadily standing up) Damn dog, I knew that he liked Craig more than me. He knocked me over like I was Nicole Ritchie! That's happened only one other time, when I was trying to train him to not bite. I had heard that if you put hot sauce on your hands, when the dog bites he will get hot sauce that burns in his mouth and not want to bite anymore. Not Milo. I had the hot sauce on my hands and when he tried to bite, he got a taste of my hands and went crazy. He literally knocked me flat on my back, and then proceeded to sit on me while licking my hands, like I was an order of buffalo wings. All Craig could do was laugh from where he had fallen on the floor (seriously) and say "oooo wheeeee!" while laughing and pointing. Finally he pulled Milo off of me and helped me up. And I never have used hot sauce around Milo again.

To get back to the original point of my post, happy birthday honey and I hope that you had a great day (which I think you did...that was some good times!!). In case anyone's wondering (or has a dirty mind), Craig and I went to dinner with Kristen and Jeff (now "Jeffay", said like "Heff-ay") and then had a game night at our place, with Jeff/Kristen, Brian/Kim, and our neighbors Angel/Jason. That was soooooo fun...

Til next time!

Milo roots for the Cavs...









Maybe our free-throw skills are out here somewhere...

Win one for me...please.

Are you there God? It's me, Milo...

*sigh* Yeah, so I've been sorta bad lately. Moms and Pops don't know what's wrong with me, meaning why have I been acting up more than usual. Maybe it's the weather. It was so nice and warm for a couple of days...Mom took me for walks and I would joyously play outside. Lately it's been pretty chilly and gray so I've been stuck inside. I've been reverting to some of my old bad-puppy behavior, like chewing blankets (but not the cashmere one Grandma Perry got for Moms...I'd be in a shelter if I got my paws on that one), getting up in the middle of the night, and being more aggressive than usual.
B-E A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E!

But Moms seems to think that once it gets nice again I'll be a good doggy again. And I would like to brag that I haven't touched any of the shoes she has left out while she's at work. Man, I must be getting old if chewing shoes isn't fun for me anymore. Moms is the disciplinarian...Dad's the fun one. He gives me leftovers, plays really rough with me, and makes sure that I am comfy on his bed (even when I scoot up between him and Moms) at night. Moms is nice too, don't get me wrong, but when I piss her off and she yells at me, man do I get SCARED. All she has to do is threaten to put me in my cage and I run to Pops, lay next to him and give him kisses to make it all better. Like this: Then they forget about whatever I did to make them mad in the first place (well, at least Dad does...Mom's not that gullible). Brilliant!

So anyhow, I have some pics that Mom took of me...she says that even though I'm a little sh*t I'm still pretty cute. I'll be providing a commentary on each one.

See, here's an example of how smart I am. Moms and Pops leave the keys in the side door so when I want to go outside I just go to that door, jump on the keys and jingle them. Just like ringing a bell for my servants. Sometimes I fake them out though. Like for this pic, I jingled the keys so Dad came to let me out. Only when he turned around I was gone. I had run back and laid on what was formerly his spot on the couch! It was all warm and comfy, and all Dad could do was look at me in amazement. Sometimes my genius even amazes me...

When I cross the line though all I have to do is snuggle up to whoever is on the couch at that moment..usually it's Pops who's there watching a movie or playing video games. When I cuddle up to him like this how can he stay mad at me??

This is how Pops and I spend our Saturday afternoons (Editor's note [meaning Roxanne]: Seriously, this is what I see almost EVERY Saturday from 2-5. Men.). Look at how much room I have on the couch to spread out...Dad has to lay on whatever area is left over. He's so whipped.

After our nap I need to stretch. Sometimes if I stretch juusssst right I can slap Pops in the face. "What did the paw say to the face? Slap!" For those of you who don't know, that's a variation of a Chappelle Show skit (Moms LOVES Chappelle show...I think she has each episode memorized. God, I'm sick of the Chappelle Show.).

Some of my most favorite things in the world are blankets. The one on the left is an old doggie blanket I've had since I was a puppy (don't I look kingly? Forget King James, it's King Milo all the way). The one on the left is this nice, big, soft one Moms and Pops got that I've already put a few holes in (Moms was SUPER PISSED). And before you think I was posed, I really do gather up the blankets myself to get warm and comfy...this is how they find me. I TOLD you I'm brilliant.

If you're around now then you are a witness to the Milo Davis era. Don't let the Cavs marketing people fool you...those shirts were made for me. They're even black and white like I am!

So that's it for me for now. I guess I'll just hang around and wait for it to get nice, and watch some TV in the interim. "They're ain't no bugs on me, they're ain't no bugs on me, there might be bugs on some of you mugs but they're ain't no bugs on me!" That's the kind of crap that's on TV now. And that commercial is crap for 3 reasons: 1) ain't is not a word...my Moms taught me that. Every time she hears that word she yells at the TV "AIN'T ISN'T A WORD!!!!" 2) if that dog's parents bathed him like my parents do (and his are supposed to) he wouldn't have bugs on him in the first place; and 3) he really rubs it in that he doesn't have fleas...if I were the other dog in that commercial I would've mauled him by the second sentence. Chump.

OK, I'm done now. Peace out!