Yo yo yo...

Whaddup homies? Long time no talk. So much has been going on. First (and most importantly), Craig's dad had his cancer surgery on May 14th, so while he's been in the hospital - he's still there - we've been playing host to Craig's sister Debbie and their dog Molly. It's been kinda chaotic with Debbie and Molly around...our small little bungalow has been holding 3 adults and 3 dogs. Crazy! Debbie is with Brian and Kim now (we still have Molly), and hopefully Bill will be home soon, as he was supposed to be moved to a rehabilitation unit this past Sunday. But when he does come home, I think he's going to have a portable IV stand with him and be on bed rest, so things won't get back to normal for a while. The prognosis looks good so far, and the surgery went well, so we're thankful for that.

The other big thing going on in our life is the whole "we're trying to have a baby" thing. Still not successful, and we actually did an insemination procedure (not IVF) a couple of weeks ago with no luck. I'm pretty drained mentally and honestly just tired of trying so hard (counting days, tons of blood work, peeing on sticks, scheduling days to be "intimate", taking fertility meds, etc.) so we're going to take a break for this summer. We're not stopping trying, but we're just going to let whatever happens happen without the help of the medical community. And if nothing happens by September, we'll go back to the doctor.

I actually feel TONS better after we made this decision. I was really getting stressed to the point where each month I felt like I was having a miscarriage. It's just so heartbreaking to want something so badly like a child and be denied for a year and a half (so far). Yeah, I know there's a reason for everything but it just plain SUCKS. So if anyone is still out there and reading this, don't take your fertility for granted...not everyone is so lucky. : ) But honestly, I feel as if a HUGE weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and just feel so OK with our decision. I really think it'll be beneficial for us to get back to being a couple instead of two people stressed out about having a kid. I kinda think it was taking a toll on our relationship and I want to just spend time being happy and stress-free (or as stress-free as possible) with Craig and just enjoy the summer without tons of tests and lab work. Craig has been great about the whole thing, and I know how lucky I am to have someone not put pressure on me or get super-upset about the situation. So we'll see what happens!

I have to say I am really looking forward to the summer. I have a bunch of time off and I can't wait to just relax. Plus I'll be THIRTY! Actually looking forward to that too. I see good things coming up for us in the next few months, so I'm just going to be appreciative of what I do have and thankful that my family is here with me and healthy. : )

God bless everyone!