A Public Service Message from Milo:

I'm well aware of those of you who like to make comments about me to Mom and Dad like: "Man, your dog is crazy!" to "Can't you give him some tranquilizers?" (note: Mom did this before the OSU game and doubled my dose, and man was I stoned. So stoned I fell over. Twice.) and "Quit humping me!" which is only said by Brian. I've taken it all in stride but now feel that I must defend myself. So here are some things to keep in mind next time you come over and want to complain about me:

1. I live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want hair on your clothes stay off the furniture. ("FUR"niture)
3. Mom and Dad like me more than they like most people.
4. To you I'm just an animal. To them, I'm an adopted son who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Additionally, keep in mind that I am better than a kid because I:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money
3. Am easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive a car
6. Don't hang out with druggie friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about the clothes I'm wearing
9. Don't need to send me to college
10. If I get someone pregnant, then I can sell my kids

So are we all on the same page now?